I’ve been a full-time working mom, a part-time working mom, and now, a stay-at-home mom. And at every stage, I believed some version of the same lie; that once I found the “right balance,” the guilt would leave.

But here’s the truth I learned the hard way; the guilt doesn’t leave, it just changes shape.

When I was working full time, the guilt came from not spending enough time with my daughter. From leaving her with a nanny, checking in obsessively, and perhaps the hardest of it all, relying on my mother to supervise it all. That added layer of guilt, placing the logistical burden of childcare on my ageing parents and uprooting them never quite left my shoulders.

Then, when I scaled down and shifted into part-time work, I thought I’d found a middle ground. But the guilt didn’t magically ease, it just got blurred. A juggling act that felt neither here nor there.

Now, as a stay-at-home mom, the guilt has taken an entirely new shape. It’s not about time spent, it’s about the narrative and identity. It’s the voice that says I’m letting down all the women who fought for us to have choices. That I’m somehow erasing their progress by choosing to be home. That I’m not setting the “right” example for my daughter by not having an office, a title, or a paycheck.

And perhaps the hardest question to answer, am I really enough… just being here?

Because the guilt, it follows you everywhere.
Into office meetings, into kitchens and living rooms.
It shows up during diaper changes and during bathroom breaks.
It curls up next to you on the floor while you’re playing with your toddler, whispering:

“You should be doing more.”